So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
