In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I am available for nakedness
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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