Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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