Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
