he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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