New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
