guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
