He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
