I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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