Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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