The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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