Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
