how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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