How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
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Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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