Yo dont text me then not text me
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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