shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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