Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
