I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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