its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
