Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
