is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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