I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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