She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize