And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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