does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
