I am puke
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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