I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
