I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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