take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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