Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
