nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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