the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
