this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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