Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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