four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize