I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
