Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
