i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
