Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize