I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
