i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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