so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.