I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.