Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just invented taco cereal.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
