The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?