I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet