I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
