Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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