I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
