I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
