Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dicks are not precious.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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