Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He's on the porch naked. Help.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
