Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
