Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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