Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
