Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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