I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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