yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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