Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
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At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
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I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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