I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He did a backflip because drugs
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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