why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
