who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
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vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
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max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
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