Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
