I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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